Sunshine on a rainy day

Everything has been feeling really blah lately. There has been so much rain that it has dampened not only the ground but my mood as well. I am a person who needs sunshine. Both literally and figuratively.
Today I found a bit of relief. For quite some time now I have been suffering from a bulging disk in my back. I know it sounds painful. Trust me, it is. The back pain is bad enough, but add to it some sharp nerve pain down the leg and it is close to debilitating. Even more difficult to handle, however, is the frustration. Listening to all the health care debate while laid up on your back for a month is very frustrating. Who can help me? I didn't know.
When I first started having trouble I was very hesitant to go to my Doctor. I like her, but I just never feel like I can get anywhere with one. Like they are just listing diseases on a big dart board, close their eyes, throw the dart, and diagnose by where the hole is made on the circle. I hate paying a copay just to hear them spout jargon that really means "I don't know what is wrong with you." So I put it off until the day I was sitting in the living room, not really able to move, and reduced to tears.
Fortunately I did get in to see her and an MRI was ordered. That was how they found the bulging disk at L5. Great! Now I know what is wrong! It can be addressed! I was so happy to know what it was. Then I had to make an appointment with a neurosurgeon-but they couldn't see me for 6 weeks. Yep. 6 weeks. Really? I had to suffer that long? Did they know I could barely function? Frustrated again.
I am really fortunate to work for a company that is flexible and I was able to work from home for the greater part of February. And my husband, family and friends are so helpful. I even had one friend save me a chair at the dance studio so I could sit comfortably, and another offer herself to me for anything I needed, even though she owns a business and is one of the busiest people I know. Such simple, kind, generous acts were everywhere and helped me get through. I push myself more than I should, but I know that they are all there for me, for anything I may need.
But yet again, I got to a point of total frustration, and called my Dr for another visit. I couldn't sit. I couldn't stand. I couldn't play with my kids. I got by, but not easily. We found that I had lost some reflexes and so we decided to go to Lahey. I got an appointment the next day. Yes, the next day. Why it took so long to make that decision I'll never know but it was the best decision I had made that whole time. The NP I saw was great and she educated me and gave me something for the pain and to reduce the swelling. It just takes time she said. These things heal by themselves but it takes time. Three months at least.
So I keep resting. Stretching a bit. I am seeing a chiropractor and that is helping, but she is out of town this week. So she suggested I make an appointment with the massage therapist. Sounded good to me so I did.
Well, after all the medication, the resting, the stretching, the adjustments, this half-hour $40 massage seems to have made all the difference! Not that I am cured. Not that I won't be sore again tomorrow. But for about 3 hours now, I have felt normal. I almost forgot what that was like. Normal. As in no pain. I actually stood in the kitchen and made a sandwich and didn't wince even once. It's a miracle. It's my sunshine for this rainy day.
Kristin

Validation

Artistic validation. It's a great feeling. And I am fortunate enough to have gotten some a few weeks ago.

In early January my camera club went on a field trip to a local national park. I didn't even know it was there. It was an old cotton mill that used to make fabrics. We toured several mill buildings and it was so interesting to learn all the history that was so close to my home. And the photography opportunities were amazing. I so rarely get to shoot just for me these days. Time is going by so quickly and I have so many irons in the fire. It almost seems silly to keep shooting at all sometimes, I'll never catch up on my editing. But I decided this would be fun and Mark was willing to watch the kids for me while I went out to shoot.

It was the most fun I had with camera in hand in a very long time. It was so different, yet all the techniques and rules were the same. Trying to capture history, when I am so used to trying to capture the present, was a real step outside of the box. Challenge is good, and a new perspective helps keep you on your toes.

I always try to see something different through my lens, take that shot that no one else has seen. That was difficult with about 12 of us hanging out shooting in the same spaces, but I managed a few that I think were fairly unique. Part of the reason for the field trip was to get more entries for the local photography contest that the park was running. I was happy with some of my shots so I thought, what the heck, I'll throw a few in there too.

Well, lucky me, one of my images was picked as a finalist! I was so excited when Mark texted me the great news. Over 450 images were entered and mine is one of 20 now hanging on the wall of the museum.

I have been working hard on my photography over the past few years, and have received many compliments from friends and family. I am lucky enough to have tons of support and an endless supply of willing models through various friends and the studio! I love hearing that they like my work, but to hear it from someone that I am not related to, or friends with, really meant something to me. It sparked a drive, and an enthusiasm to continue on. It gave me validation.

I am not even sure why validation is important, but it is. Art is so subjective. I could love something and someone else could hate it. That is just the way it is. I try to look at things as whether or not I like it. If I like it that should be enough. But it's hard sometimes not to get frustrated, especially when an image I am happy with doesn't score well at camera club, or a shot I adore from a portrait session isn't purchased. Just part of the package I guess.

So here it is. My first museum piece of art. I'd love to know what you think of it! Please just don't copy it! :)!



Thanks for listening...
Kristin